As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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