I wanna bring you to show and tell
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
