I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
