there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
