i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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