You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
