PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
