just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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