Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
