Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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