oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You made out with two different species that night
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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