You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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