im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
These 19 Sad People Chose Video Games Over Sex
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...