forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
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He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
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when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Help. Why am I so naked?
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