My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
she looked like the before picture.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
