i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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