You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
