We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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