ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
