she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
