I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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