There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
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