Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
