Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
