I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I AM VODKA MAN
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize
