Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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