"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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