I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
