So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
