i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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