operation harelip BJ is a go
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
