so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
