moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize
