the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I can't turn off my feet"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
