I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
