dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
