My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
