all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
