Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
