so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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