loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
