you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
don't judge my taste in strippers
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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