i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Porn is love you can see.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
