Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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