But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I smell stomach acid.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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