Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
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How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
The ass gains better be worth it
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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