Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
