You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
