i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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