so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
