Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
