We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize