# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
