I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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