It's like a parade of train wrecks.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Randomize
