I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize