I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
