whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
