Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
