Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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