I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
