mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize